Whew! It’s been a while, I skipped reviewing the past episodes not only because I was saving the world from Salamander aliens that were led by a curiously strange looking Jane Badler, but also because I had writer’s block. Or is it writers’ block? If it were writer’s block, it would mean only ONE writer is blocked, whereas writers’ block is more of a democratic … Continue reading Review (sort of): Game of Thrones – Kill the Boy
HOLY SHIT, YOU GUYS. This thing is back! I’m back! Sloucher.org is back! The previous paragraph is aligned to the right! Only the audience isn’t back. Sheeeee-it. We lost you all to Furious Seven, which is fine and dandy because you can’t ignore the siren call of The Stat. Anyways, the story so far: -Most of Season (or series for you stuck-up Limeys) One’s major … Continue reading Review: Game of Thrones – The Wars to Come
Continue reading “Podcast: Radio Chaneque – A Guarriors of Thrones”
HOLY SHIT, YOU GUYS.
I can’t think of any jokes this time around but I’m thankful they started to tie some loose ends. Even if it meant some marvelous display of violence.
Hey, have you read my Lana del Rey review? I’ll let you click the link. No? Ok, then repent your sins, crack open a beer (or the head of any Stark near you) and celebrate Father’s day with this episode of Game of Thrones.
Hi, people who still mourn Oberyn‘s dashingly good looks getting perma-ruined last week. My name is Orestes P. Xistos and I’ve upgraded my position in this Shithole of a Website (TM) called Sloucher. Once I reviewed singles & EPs, I now write about a show that is basically 50 Shades of Grey for bros/lads/patanes.
Hey, the editors at this place allow me the occasional Monty Python reference and I get away with reminiscing my days as a Dungeon Master. Like last week when The Mountain rolled a natural 20 and with all his bonuses (bonii?) was able to do a called shot to Oberyn‘s mug and smash it up (Offspring style!) . I know a couple of DMs who wouldn’t allow that, but it’s the sort of assholes that don’t allow for players to be Ranger/Cleric dual class. So fuck ’em, let’s play this by house rules, even if it seems it’s House of Lannister‘s rules. Which is very grim for our lovely Tyrion. Oh, well, maybe some enterprising Mage (lvl 5) can cast Transmute Rock to Mud and spring Our Beloved Dinklage out of prison? Is Wentworth Miller doing anything? Can’t we cast him as another lost Lannister brother? Howzabout he guest stars as Orson Lannister? That could work? “Hey guys, I faked my death ‘cuz I needed to spring that pudgy dude from Blade Trinity!”
C’mon, you know it’s believable ‘cuz no one would honestly accept they’ve seen Blade Trinity. Not even the cast accepts filming Blade Trinity. “Sure, Mr. Jason Lee lookalike Ryan Reynolds, you weren’t in Blade Trinity… Although I don’t believe your story about your clone starring in that crappy Wolverine movie.”
Sorry, for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself. Repent your sins, crack open a beer (or the head of any Stark near you) and read my spoilerific and inaccurate take on tonight’s episode, The Watchers on the Wall:
Hi, people who were offended I reviewed a shitty Dr. Who episode last week, this one’s for you. Hi y’all, my name is Orestes P. Xistos and I’ve upgraded my position in this Shithole of a Website (TM) called Sloucher, from reviewing singles & EPs, I now write about a show that is basically 50 Shades of Grey for bros/lads/patanes. So bow wow wow yippee yo yippee yay.
Repent your sins, crack open a beer (or the head of any Stark near you) and read my take on today’s episode, but first, a recap (unimanie rezyume): Continue reading “Review: Game of Thrones – The Mountain and The Viper”
Hi, people who … HOLY SHIT! Have you read this thing about HBO offering a mixtape to reach out to the (and I quote) “urban, multicultural audience” , as in, HBO wants to appeal to “African-Americans, Latinos and the broader “urban” market.” (source)
The mixtape is here. WARNING: IT INCLUDES PITBULL. Reggaeton is coming to your land of fantasy, swords, plots and sex, Westeros (more like Westsideros, amirite?)
DISCUSS: Should Sloucher reach out to the “urban market”, especially since the owner is some crazy Mexican? Do we need a mixtape with Control Machete, Cartel de Santa and Paralamas to bring more readers?
Sigh y’all, my name is Orestes P. Xistos and I’ve upgraded my position in this Shithole of a Website (TM) called Sloucher, from reviewing singles & EPs, I now write about a show that is basically 50 Shades of Grey for bros/lads/patanes. So bow wow wow yippee yo yippee yay.
Repent your sins, crack open a beer (or the head of any Stark near you) and read my take on today’s episode, but first, a recap (unimanie rezyume): Continue reading “Review: Game of Thrones – Mockingbird”
Hi, people who are happy without having to listen to that sodding Pharrell song, my name is Orestes P. Xistos and I’ve upgraded my position in this Shithole of a Website (TM) called Sloucher, from reviewing singles & EPs, I now write about a show that is basically 50 Shades of Grey for bros/lads/patanes.
Repent your sins, crack open a beer (or the head of any Stark near you) and read my take on today’s episode, but first, a recap (unimanie rezyume): Continue reading “Review: Game of Thrones – The Laws of Gods and Men”
Hi, people who are happy identifying with the genre they have chosen (fuck yeah, multiple choice), my name is Orestes P. Xistos and I’ve upgraded my position in this Shithole of a Website (TM) called Sloucher, from reviewing singles & EPs, I now write about a show that is basically 50 Shades of Grey for bros/lads/patanes.
Repent your sins, crack open a beer (or the head of any Stark near you) and read my take on today’s episode, but first, a recap (unimanie rezyume): Continue reading “Review: Game of Thrones – First of His Name”
