Unfortunate letters about incidents – 5

Welcome to our new weekly column with Russ “chords of gold” Palmer. This week, he writes with grave concern to Mr. Kipling Cakes

Dear Mr Kipling (if there is such a person),

I was recently watching you latest television advertisement and was left feeling a little uneasy as throughout the advert Kipling did not show his face once.

I started to wonder why Kipling would not show his face, was it:

(a) He does not want people coming up to him in the street and singing his praises about the abundance of apples in his apple pies.

(b) He has some kind of secret past that he feels if he shows his true identity the media would drag up dirt on him.

(c) That was not the real Kipling, just a stunt double.

(d) There is not Kipling and he is just a baking myth that has been passed on through the ages.

(e) He was not wearing a hairnet.

These thoughts have made me very wary about Kipling and have made me think twice about buying his products as he obviously has something to hide. Could you please clear this matter up for me, as I do enjoy your cakes and as stated on the box they are exceedingly good, but the underlying mystery has slightly taken away the enjoyment for me.

Yours sincerely

Russell Palmer (esq)

Mr. Kipling’s Cakes response:

Subject: Re: Question

Dear Mr Palmer

Thank you for you e-mail to our office, we always welcome comments and queries from our customers.

In answer to your queries about Mr Kipling. He is a very shy man and does not really like much contact with people and he is also always so busy making cakes that we do not get a chance to meet him either.

Thank you for taking the time to contact us through our website.

Yours Sincerely

Customer Care

Mr Kipling Cakes

 

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