Hullo, you pilfering pilchards o’ Pimlico, this is our always late EP round up, where we trawl through the titanic troves of tinnitus-inducing music and bring you the best of what’s around. Or at least what WE think it’s the best of what’s around.

Remember: don’t adjust your opinion. We are just a shithole of a website (TM)

DID YOU  KNOW: Matthew McConaughey enjoyed writing EP reviews even before he got paid to review. FACT.

Oh, well, sigh, sorry for the delays, we were closing this website but the paperwork would’ve been a killer. In our usual droll manner, we will compare each EP to something unrelated, so the theme this time ’round is Mr. McCoughanaghahspcheck?ghey characters. Also: I dragged Sam out of retirement. JOY.

Pjaro – Swordface 7″

The former duo becomes a trio and brings a short and sweet three song EP. ‘Can I join yr slowcore band?’ tills the groundwork for the other songs, first dragging its feet like a hungover reveller then going into that sweet droning riff that spells Pjaro. ‘xoxo’ seems to be more for the disenfranchised than for the fans of Red House Painters and Idaho and if you ever visited that TDT building, you can almost taste the smells (and the looming wrecking ball from the Council twats). ‘Skin merchant’ waves goodbye forlornly, making us realise there were a lot of ideas displayed in this 7″ and they were laid out curtly. No need to overindulge. Needs parmesan? Needs more tracks. – Orestes P. Xistos

Top track : ‘Can I join yr slowcore band?’

This EP is:

 

FeatuRE // SLOWCOACHES TOURIST EP

Whoa. Besides having one shared band member (and one heckuva tour from what I heard), I didn’t picture this pairing but lo and behold, it works and pretty well too. Feature brings their wistful side without ever slowing down from their punk roots. The bass heavy ‘Wisdom teeth’ is a gorgeous track full of longing and I’d hate to say this is a rockier Electrelane, but that’s a general approximation to what it sounded like. ‘Tourism fiction’ is akin to a winding drive through fog-filled hills – you eventually zone out and the lack of sight makes you wonder if you are actually moving. You are and so is this track, atmospheric as a room full of sandalwood incense burning. ‘Mannequin’ is a Wire cover and works remarkably well. Feature  are no strangers to covers and this is a good one too.

Right, the Slowcoaches side clears the hazy atmosphere and grapples you by the neck. There’s some violent wriggling in ‘Surface observations’ and the song wastes no time going straight to the point. A solo sneaks by, sees that the moshing might be getting fiercer and runs away (leaves a tip, though). ‘Raw dealings’ is a frantic journey in a tilt-a-whirl that has gone loose and now is bouncing through the fairground, barely missing a red haired pop singer and rolling down the hill. It’s a fun song (and my fave from this side). ‘Ex Lion Tamer’ is decidedly a tamer one but also sports a strong garage coat of paint, a meeting point between Mazes and Feature, which sort of brings this music venture full circle (for the time being.) – Orestes P. Xistos

Top track (Feature side): ‘Wisdom Teeth’.

Top track (Slowcoaches side): ‘Raw Dealings’.

This EP is (Feature side):

This EP is (Slowcoaches side):

 

The Infamous Flapjack Affair – The Infamous Flapjack Affair

The much maligned folk scene is actually chock full of bands that don’t necessarily fit the “vest and white shirts fellas singing about ficus trees” imagery that’s been garnered as of late. The half American, half British band known as The Infamous Flapjack Affair (something to do with the Noodle incident?) avoids the trappings of the genre while still serving a good slice of Americana. Which is a tough trick but they pulled it. ‘Clay’ has a mournful vocal accompanied only by a mournful cello before breaking out the banjo and a lovely dual vocal approach. It’s a lamentation for leafy suburbs of Anytown, UK. ‘Linger on’ brings more grey shades of emotions, but the pacing avoids being morose and just builds energy slowly, thanks to that punchy vocal approach that feels like a very menacing choral lamentation. And not a single percussion instrument was seen nor needed.

It might sound like a moody affair, but ‘Cradle me Carolina’ brings a much needed adrenaline shot. More in the style of a set closer, the song brings that “happiness through yearning” mood that Americana does so well. ‘Mr. K’, the closing track, lets the fiddle and cello shine through and it’s the fine-lookin’ aftertaste this 5 track leaves after all is said and done. – Sam J. Valdés López

Top track: ‘Linger On’.

This EP is:

Hope y’all enjoyed it.  And if not, then, shit, here’s a song by Blind Melon:

Words: Orestes P. Xistos & Sam J. Valdés López (a bit rusty…)