Opa! I’m Orestes Xistos and I welcome y’all philos and philis to my section. Best taken with pisstaking prevention pills.

There once was a schoolyard

where one kid with glasses and a beret

and a face made of wax

ruled with an iron fist.

The other kids would fear him

as this kid, nicknamed Waxy, was insane

he had no feral feline blood like Chuck, the class clown

but if you looked at him wrong, you were owned.

Proffesors, guardians and stewards

All feared his might, as he always carried a sword

Made from all the toy cars his lackeys stole

To the wimpier kids in the playground.

The other bullies in the playground

Years older than Waxy and with far more experience

Were the ones who gave him all the counselling to be like this

Like the doctor with the golem, their beast was out of control

“Waxy oh Waxy, please let me be!”

Praised a little blond boy, while Waxy just stole his Ribena box

The other bullies wouldn’t say anything

As Waxy would share all those things he stole

But came one day when the wimps reunited forces

And started a small revolt towards their bugbear called Waxy

Waxy threw his beret to the ground and his lunchbox kicked

The face of Mariah Carey through skies flew.

As Waxy and his loyal cohorts fought

The other ground bullies, who trained him and gave him a sword

looked at each other, with puzzled looks

should they intervene and stop the fight?

Or should they wait for them to be dead and their Ribenas collect?