New name for the column. Because we don’t want to get sued again. Oh, well. My name is Orestes P. Xistos and I don’t get paid for this shit…
Welcome back to our obnoxious little column where we post and promote the events we have agreed to give a push around. It’s our ass kissing nature, really. Hey, at least we’re being honest.
But, hey, how was your February? We tagged along with Firesuite on their lil’ tour, we played boardgames at The Harlequin, we continued to be Forever Alone during St. Valentine’s and we somehow managed to get banned from a church. We also felt the icy touch of La Parca (aka The Grim Reaper) as we saw Cats:for:Peru and Soyo Live wave their goodbyes as they departed towards the Gray Skies. Well, at least they’ll get to chat to Gandalf.
Non Sequitur: I’m available as a Pope. I have experience, I really do. Just check my own religion.
Enough ramble, it’s time to do some recommending for you, lovely people.
MUSIC (well, of course)
Pjaro are one of the many aces that Tye Die Tapes have up their slackerin’ sleeves. Our review will be up soonish.
Psychic Twin is like sex in the mouth. Well, that’s what the blurb said ages ago, but we do believe they are more like the soundtrack for your collection of Star Wars figurines. GI Joe? Maybe on the next release!
Turbina is a psychedelic rock band from México who delve into experimental territory whenever they feel like. We had the promo sitting for a while in our Promo Dungeon. It now has organised a Revolution (¡VIVA LA REVOLUCIÓN, PUTINES!) This will end like Fuenteovejuna. Así es. Really enjoyable stuff.
Dating Myself drag the body of grunge out of its tomb and in a Shyamalan twist, it turns out it wasn’t dead, just trippin’ to Mark Lanegan’s sexy voice. Don’t we all?
My First Tooth are kicking around the foyer. Why? Because they’ve just released an album. Our review will be late, beyond release date, but that shouldnae stop you from lending them your ear.
The Narrows hate Right wings. The Narrows are not Luddites. The Narrows are Los Locos. Los Locos will kick your ass. I will buy you a pint if you got the reference. If you didn’t, you can listen to their new single.
URSS bajo el árbol are coming back with an album on the bag. They also will bring that sexy ass psychodelia they do so well. I do miss the ‘fro the sax player had.
Xavier (a side project by said ‘fro-less sax player and some trusty friends) are creating some interesting sounds. Can’t wait for their release that promises to mix jazz and hip hop with a sweet serving of a voice that sounds like vanilla kisses (reference).
Kimmy Yeah have released a ramblomatic raspberry flavoured slayer of an album. The review is late (of course!) but we do enjoy their bluster. Just don’t mention religion near them.
Awooga. Who? Motherflippin’, honest to Layne grunge from Sheffield (via WSL). I have no idea who do we need to fellate to get the more gigs. In the meantime, here’s their music and Tom with the weather.
Screaming Maldini have a new album that is swell and sweet (no sharks) and they’ve just kicked all sorts of traseros at The Harley. Cue the choral, multinote attacks!
Low Duo may have had a song featured in that film with nekkid women with an affinity to tattoos…but we remember them more for writing songs about being miserable (with a wry smile) and stories about starcrossed lovers. Starcrossed Lovers: approved by Tchaikovsky (fact!) and Low Duo.
The Mousetrap. Simply put, one of the best whodunnits I’ve seen in my life. Celebrating sixty (SIXTY!) years. It’s like Cluedo! but without Ms. Scarlett. March 4-9. £22 to £28.
Acorn Antiques – The Musical Presented by Croft Theatre group, 19-23 March, £10 to £22. It’s a story about an antiques shop struggling to remain open (a very real bugbear right now). If you have fond memories of Julie Walters as Mrs. Overall, this is for ya.
Dead beats presents: with love from Esteli. A night of poetry and the charity activities the Esteli Partnership does. March 12, doors 8pm, starts 8:15. It will be at the University Arms (The Wilson Room) and it’s free entry but you could donate to charity (good karma, innit?). BEWARE: my editor will be reading at this event. I predict it will go as well as Vogon Poetry.
Sheffield Zine Fest. March 16th (12 – 5 pm), Electric Works, by the bus station. Stalls of zines and word tinkers/smiths. Should be a good one. We have a stand. Please don’t lynch us again. You can buy our old zines and badges and maybe merch. Maybe.
SOYO Live Is dead. Long live Soyo. Thanks for 4 years of free music for us freeloaders. Going out stylish with the talents of Blessa, Coasts, Brave New Storm and The Natterjacks. Free. March 4th.
Twisted Wheel at Queens Social Club, March 6th. 8 quid, more on the door.
Small Ideas present: Il sogno dil marinaio (Mike Watts) at The Harley, March 7th. 10 quid, more on the door.
Huw Costin & Torn Sail,Richie Syrett & Canyon Family (TOTOOING!) at Greystones. March 8th. 5 squid, 6 on the door.
LULS & Blossomer. The Bowery, March 8th. Stupidly free.
Xray Live presents Steel Trees, Unicorn Hunters, Rumpus and Desert Motel Club. March 9th, The Harley. 3 quid.
Dave Harding, The Farewell State (solo) & William Barstow at Greystones. March 12th. 6 squid advace, 8 at door.
Roaming Son, The Wild Sons Of Gentlemen 6 Dave Woodcock at The Washington. March 13th
The Farewell State, Rebecca Elise Guy & Sam Browse. March 17th, West Street Live. Drunkenly Free.
Theme Park plays The Harley on March 19th. Don’t miss them! Superpop heroes! 8 quid.
Palma Violets. Queens Social Road, March 21th. 9 quid, Rock n Roll!
The Violet May. The Bowery, Sheffield, March 23th. Cautiously free.
Detestival. OF COURSE. We mentioned it before, and we’ll make a little bit more noise for it as we catch up. Tickets are flying and you’ll kick yourself if you miss Hookworms. Check also Temples, Dry Heaves and Flaming Skulls. Heck, check all the bands. March 29 & 30.
And that’s it.