Songs for bad decisions. Part 1. It’s hard being -allegedly- on the spectrum and as much advance we’ve had as a society for acceptance and care, there’s still an stigma attached. It doesn’t matter the generation, it seems thing won’t progress for some aspects.

Sure, neuroscience has jumped leaps and bounds ahead and science communication in particular has done an stellar job on explaining neurodivergency in a humane way. Still, some misconceptions will take generations to water down and distill until there’s a full acceptance -and understanding- to neurodivergence.

One particular challenge I’ve had all my life is approaching people. Not referring only to strangers, but people in general. It could be a relative, a friend or a stranger. It could be a significant other. Math, science and fantasy literature come easy, but speaking to a person is a struggle. Keeping eye contact is even worse, but you end up working up (sorta) clever strategies to get over this hurdle.

Like I previously mentioned, sometimes you need a lucky song to inspire you, a bit of inspiration and do things. If The Chemicals Brothers provided me with a song where I usually came up with a positive result, Sleeper’s cover of Blondie’s Atomic always felt hexed. I love the cover, it’s beautiful, but every single I time I take it as a sign, it all goes topsy turvy.

I don’t want to go into detail, it’s not a salacious column at all, but it does involve the less analytical parts of human emotions, and, really, the most overrated one. I think we get blinded by the goal of a certain aspect of relationships that when we finally get to “the moment”, it just feels empty. Like Antonie’s phlegmatic stare at the end of the 400 blows, we are left wondering: is that it?

So the bad decision is not embarking into a certain detour. It’s about the placing on the pedestal of it. It shouldn’t be the apex of a relationship, even if we were sold it by countless unseemly novels and movies. It’s just there. Kinda feel sorry for attaching my bad memories to Sleeper, but that’s how my brain works. Cover’s nice, though.

-Sam J. Valdés López