Greetings, readers who know that I am the eye in the sky, looking at you, I can read your mind. I am the maker of rules, ok? Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ’em. A huevo que sí. 

This week’s singles come courtesy of the sausage sarnies from John’s Van. They be awesome, yo! I also like the one from Urban Deli, the one that looks like an electrical resistance coil (but doesn’t taste like that). Man, I need sausages. And sponsors. Can’t keep bigging up people for free!

Ah, singles, right:

Everyone an army – Sang Real

Welcome back, Everyone an Army, we missed you. The Scarborough trio is back on the noise making circuit with ‘Sang Real’, a gem of math rock tune with some heavy muscling into hard rock (check the bass and drum attack). Lyrics talking about, well, I think the image says it all. Royalty and a reminder that Rome wasn’t built on a day are the platitudes said before going for a full instrumental attack. Rock this out, very loudly. – Sam.

Split 10″ single with Silent Front / A clean kitchen is a healthy kitchen

Interesting attack from Silent Front. ‘Tactic A’ is a hardcore track, with enough punk to get a mosh pit going and enough energy to pogo for more than a song. Second half goes into the unforgiving territory, driving the point home (and impaling a few bystanders). Which was only a warm-up before ‘Plunder’, a bass-heavy, full frontal punch. Less frantic, equally strong, all muscle.

As one side feels like the two dobermans Higgins had on Magnum P.I., the other side is Higgins himself: suave, elegant, effete and completely deranged. A moustache twirling supervillain hellbent on destruction. Yeah, it’s the angular tangents of A clean kitchen is a healthy kitchen, who do a great racket with many forms, no rhyme and a reason that was lost on minute 4 (I blame the drummer, it’s an ace beating). ‘Molasses for the masses’ is the name of this happening and although not as punk as anything Silent Front offers, they go right well together. – Sam

Collider – Treehouse

I don’t know what happened to Collider in the proverbial treehouse that names this track, but it doesn’t sound good at all. Part lament, part warning, this is a darker, menacing side of post rock. You could split it in two parts: lamentation and catharsis (although still on the sad side). Good instrumental breakdown by the end.

You get two remixes in this release. The ‘Karl Off’ remix is a longer, loungy version of the track, sort of the leisure suit version of the track. It almost sounds like an alternate track and is quite nice. The ‘Wehtam Yelthgiek’ Remix is slightly dubby but still very chillout. Like a rainy holiday at a beach resort. Screw this weather, listen to this. -Sam.

The Lucid Dream – Hit me like I’m stoned

Why would I hit you when you keep making this psychedelic stuff that we keep enjoying so much? The Lucid Dream offer a The Weird Side of psychgaze, a genre I just pulled out of my ass. ‘Hit me like I’m stoned’ is a six minute trip down a long stretch of forest. The place is actually petrified and there’s mist everywhere and the sounds you hear are either the wind whistling down the many holes in the wood or an unknown assailant waiting to 86 you. Whatever it was, it pounces you, relentlessly. Nothing is left but a heavily reverberated, noise drenched atmosphere of proper psychedelia.- Orestes “P is for Psychedelic” Xistos.

Torches – Sky Blue & Ivory

Woo! The very tribalesque sounds of Torches beckons with its syncopated call-and-response sort of art rock. ‘Sky blue & Ivory’ is full of those precise slices of drumming with enough out of worldliness to tag it as “art” and release it into the wild, track it and see what happens. It came back, weighing 3:37 minutes:seconds, with the feathers of a once extinct Dodo (now extinct again) and a lot of sprawling soundscapes to make that fading feedback ending just brilliant.- Orestes  “P is for phanboy” Xistos.

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RIGHT ON, PEOPLE, LISTEN GOOD. No, actually, bye. Until next time, I’m Orestes Xistos and I have been banned from four (4) venues in Sheffield. It was because of my interview with Onslaught. Nerd haters.  See ya, kisses and (((sholay))) (((hugs))).