Greetings, readers who know how to do a stoppie in a tricycle without a “rajita de canela” appearing afterwards. Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. A huevo que sí.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Nelly Furtado’s left eyebrow, she was great ’til she did that album with Timbaland. Same goes for Chris Cornell. What the fuck, Timbaland? Why you taking me fave artists? Who’s next, Elton John? Bastard.
Mind you, a Timbaland produced Elton John album would be great. I’m a contradiction.
Greetings, readers who know how to fold a burrito properly. Hook a brother up, please? Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. A huevo que sí.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Pascualo Zindugüarapos, the guy who serves pork kebabs in Broomhill. They be awesome, yo! No, wait, they don’t sell pork kebabs in England. Dammit.
We invited Lumiere to write a few blurbs about their long-in-the-making upcoming album, Coloso. One every day for the next forthnight. To start things up, ‘Ciclope’.
Cíclope: A veces tenemos la (no)fortuna de ser el único tuerto en una tierra de ciegos. El “Ensayo sobre la ceguera” de Saramago nos inspiró a musicalizar esa tragedia.
Cíclope: Sometimes, we have the (un)lucky position of being the one eyed person in the land of the blind. Saramago‘s Blindness inspired us to put some music to that tragedy.
Greetings, readers who went to Vive Latino 2012 and fell in love at the party pit while being showered by plastic cups containing Cerveza Sol (and if it wasn’t beer, then fúchila)! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. A huevo que sí.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Macabre Johnson, the conspiracy theory nutjob that lives in Weston Park, Sheffield. He keeps telling me that we are being watched with microcameras and microphones in all our gadgets and that we all are being sheepled into believing an alien invasion that is actually holograms projected in the sky. Get Scooby Doo and the gang on the case! Strangely enough, Macabre also makes a cracking cover of Muse’s ‘Dead star’ on the nose harmonica. He even gets Matt Bellamy‘s choirboy-meets-Thom Yorke tone right!
Greetings, readers who took the jam out of my doughnut. You’re going to hell! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy ofthe sexy voice of K-Billy Super Sounds of the 70s. Now, put down that razor blade, let the cop walk away and boogey down to Morrison’s and buy me more doughnuts. Or else all your music will turn into 5 hours of Chris Martin yodelling.
Never fear the ides of March
for what a cold blistering night tried to ruin
three bands stepped up to save
A swell night at the Harley was to be had (more…)
Greetings, readers who steal golf carts left to rust in your local parks! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy ofThe Hillside 19 mob, comprised of ninja penguins, barbarian seals, kamikaze sea lions and a rather handsome manatee. Oh, the manatee! How it hates us! Go listen to Gallops, btw. Back? Cool, now stand upside. Wave to the crowd. Get roses, kiss the girl (or boy or significant other) and now jump through hoops to get your creme egg.
Greetings, readers who bought my copy of Building your own death ray gun from radishes and aspargus stalks (vol .1 Disintegration for the soul)! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of WorkForce, because we all mofos here are writing for gratis. Grumble, grumble. We are the 99%, as in, we like to sing “99 luftballoons, ich bin ein ausgangeeeer!” while playing hopscotch against the ghost of DeForest Kelley. He’s quite the sport.
Oh, it feels like ages since we did the last one of this sort, so here goes another one…
Johnny Foreigner (The Harley, March 1st)
Lot of respect to this band. First, they handed that NME dude his arse back several times and second, they are pretty good. Support is from Screaming Maldini, who sadly no longer rock the white vs pink, but they do rock. And, hey, we interviewed the Maldini squad too. Should be a good one for 6 quid (5.50 for Harley Live members).
A Hack and a Hacksaw (St. George’s Church, March 3rd)
He was in Neutral Milk Hotel. He’s in the Elephant Six collective. You’re probably going, so why preach to the converted? If not, expect loads of crazy accordion playing while a violin player keeps up. Or the other way around. Venue should be great for acoustics. Especially since they are re-scoring Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors (trailer), which always is an interesting experience. 12 squid, more on the door.
Ian Wright (The Harley, March 3rd)
If the re-scoring of an Ukranian film is not your thing, why not check this event organised by Thirsty Ear? 3 British Pesos.
Portico Quartet (Queens Social Club, March 8th)
PostJazz for the painfully alone. Groove down to the funky sounds of a doublebass and some otherworldly sounds. 12 British Drachmas (11 for Harley Live members).
Doom (Queens Social Club, March 16th)
Need something stronger for your musical buds? Not shy of the DIY presents Doom, Giftgasattack, Wankys, Egs and Cryhavoc. 6.50 Scottish pounds at the door.
Summer Camp (The Harley, March 19th)
Dreamy poppers Summer Camp (and real life couple, yo) drop by with Fixers on tow. Get your fuzz drenched and chase it with a gin and tonic. Just cuz. 6 of the minted ones on the door (5 for Harley Live members)
Kwes (The Harley, March 24th)
Get some electronica down yer spine, with support from Damu. 4 queen-approved monetary units.
Bill Wells & Aidan Moffat (Queens Social Club, March 31st)
A very nice surprise indeed, should be a good one for lovers of introspective musicians from Scotland. Support from RM Hubbert. And, for God’s sakes, don’t wear a Belle & Sebastian t-shirt. You’ve been warned. 10 English pounds (9.50 if you have that trusty Harley Live members card.)
Greetings, humans and carbon units pretending to be humans, it’s me, Orestes P. Xistos with a quick news round-up for your reading displeasure:
-Singer & songwriter Jess Morgan is currently running a funding campaign through the very useful Pledge Music to get her debut album funded. Just a few days left, but it’s sounding pretty nifty. Get more details here.
-Pssst! You want some free mix cds? We have given away 3, tres, three, trois very good mixes in the last months! We had one for the Mexican celebration of Posadas, then we had one for Boxing Day, so you Brits can’t accuse us of not blending in. We also had one celebrating that religious experience called the Superbowl. With Tamales. Click here and check out new and exciting bands!
-The people at Cognitive Dissonance have joined forces with Café Music Studios and Supernormal Festival to create Symbiosis, a project looking to help a band mix & master a record, get PR from Cognitive Dissonance and play at Supernormal Festival. Read more about the line up right here.
-Local superheroes (they are kinda like the West Coast Avengers, really) Hey Sholay has just signed with Fierce Panda Records. Catch up with an interview we did to one of their members (allegedly), check a couple of reviews from their recordings (split ep, single, tape and pray to Jebus they didn’t give up the KAOSSilator for lent. Want more Hey Sholay stuff? An interview with their biggest enemy and a poem, maybe?
-Do you live in Sheffield and fear for the future of our very nice librarians after those stupid cuts were made? You can help them by joining them on February 29th at the Quaker Meeting House (map), from 6:30 pm onwards.
-What is WTF Festival? Well, it’s an event with several musical genres and poetry at Ruta Maya in Austin, Texas. The date? March 14th. The catch? Well, they’re struggling for funding. Here’s a kickstarter link. Need to know more? Here’s their website.
-After a couple of EPs (yes, two!), Louise Distras will now record a full length album in London, produced by Pat Collier (who has worked with Maximo Park and New Model Army) and Steve Whale. Ms. Distras next festival appearance will be at Another Winter Of Discontent Festival, London.
-Are you enjoying lent? We aren’t and have now created our own cult, led by mythical figure (and gonzo pet) Orestes “P. is for Phony” Xistos. JOIN THE CULT OF COWDONIA, human! (unless you don’t like milk).
February, the Tuesdays of the year. What to do? Here’s a couple of suggestions:
Carmen Ghia & The Hot Rods (Queens Social Club, February 18th.)
The first time we heard from this band was when we sneaked into the Christmas party of a swing (as in the dance, not the other type) society. The party wasn’t that good, but the band was. Support comes from Jack Rabbit Slim and The Slingshots, Dolly Go Tightly and Ben-Z.
Allo Darlin’ (Queens Social Club, February 25th)
For those longing for a long bygone era where 7″ records where played by groups of friends huddled together while sharing a bag of Tropical fruit flavoured Skittles, this one is for you. Fun fun fun in the sun sun sun (no Laura Marling, thankfully). Entry: 7 squid.
Martyn (The Harley, February 25th)
If you’re more of a “bríncale, bríncale” sort of person and need to move around, then here’s something to bust a move. Entry: 5 quid.
Hookworms (The Harley, February 28th)
This gig might’ve lost one of the acts, but Hookworms alone should be a good one. Heck, we enjoyed their stuff. Entry: 5 English pesos.
Johnny Foreigner (The Harley, March 1st)
Lot of respect to this band. First, they handed that NME dude his arse back several times and second, they are pretty good. Support is from Screaming Maldini, who sadly no longer rock the white vs pink, but they do rock. And, hey, we interviewed the Maldini squad too. Should be a good one for 6 quid.
Greetings, readers bought all seven copies of my self-help guide, Getting back at the rustler that stole your red oxen (vol .2 Electric Boogaloo)! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles are double-double, so watch out for that trans fat in our delicious cuts of smoked shoegazing bacon. Mind the indie dance chicken. And for Krist Novoselic‘s sake, don’t throw your bass in the air, you might end up writing political science for the rest of your life while you wallow in self-pity on that day you said no to a high paying job packing foodstuffs in orange bags at Sainsbury’s.
For a less rambling introduction to what this event is about, please do check this link. You have been warned. -Orestes.
Y’all know the story: boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy fails to buy expensive presents and forgets a couple of important dates, girl only wants to moan, buy overpriced cupcakes and shoot deer at the park. Boy dumps girl (or girl dumps boy, we do live in modern times), it all end in tears with Lisa Loeb singing in the back (single available on iTunes).
But enough about my love life and now let’s talk about The Harley’s Speed Hating, an event deployed like those aluminium-based countermeasures fighter jets use to get rid of missiles. Yes, love is the ultimate war, a horrible perversion of a pure feeling. Heck, you might even say that love is a battlefield.
So, yeah, Speed Hating, at The Harley, this Valentine’s Day. What is it about? You pay yer door tax (2 quid), and then you are given a fake identity (let’s call it the Heartless Protection Program) and then you will be sat for rounds of four minutes with someone else (who also has a fake identity). Then you talk about all the things that annoy you and maybe you can even pretend to be the person you hate, as some sort of catharsis. Monocle and moustache are not included. Then you go on to another table and so forth.
There is a slight chance of you meeting someone (well, alcohol is the great mind confuser), so there will be a Wall of Meaningless Encounters (which has to be better than Top Gear‘s Cool Wall) where sensitive data can be exchanged. Like Facebook, but, you know, real and with less farms.
So if you are looking for a good counter-programming to this stupid date, just drop by The Harley from 9 pm onwards. 2 quid at the door, which includes Heartbreak disco, so bust some moves instead of feelings…
…and if that doesn’t sell the idea, hey, Drive is out on DVD, so go watch that, you goddamned loner.
Whoa! It feels like it was barely a couple of months ago (43 days, but who is counting?) that we brought you not one but two awesome mix cds from bands that might be unknown, but golly gee willickers, they are good. Especially Wet Nuns (they bribed us). (more…)
Greetings, readers bought Orestes P. Coltrane’s guide to stalking your kindergarten teacher (vol. 1 Jello o’death!! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Mexico‘s own Safari Tacos. Great food, so-so service, great memories. Go for a Quesafari al Pastor, which basically is a big arse quesadilla with pastor meat (the non-unionised Mexican equivalent of kebab meat). It fucking rules and best of all: it has a lot of piña (that’s pineapple in Spanish).
Greetings, readers bought all five copies of my self-help guide, Growing your own fairtrade kebab bonsai (vol .1 Ikkebana for the Soul)! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Top Gear‘s delicious chili con carne. Now, if I could be any of them, I would be James May. He’s the intelligent one of the bunch. Although, how intelligent can he be while still tolerating Clarkson? The mind boggles. As much as Basil Brush‘s brush. That is not a double-entendre.
Yup, new year and we are still feeling the groooove this band gives. This is the video for ‘Heavens below’ and it’s roaring heckuva time.
Have a great Tuesday (the ugly duckling of the week according to my shaman in Veracruz) and, hey, you can download the song for free, yeah! And if that ain’t enough, we have an interview with them tomorrow.
Greetings, readers who bought all 2 copies of my self-help guide, Surviving Christmas Break Ups with Turkey marinated in Rum! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Robert Patrick, the Terminator and Agent Doggett. His brother is in a fucking awesome band called Filter and he dropped by in a concert to shout and headbang. AWESOME.
By now you’re probably dead tired of end of the year lists, some of them are extremely self-indulgent and, well, they do get a little samey.
It’s always hard to do these End of year things… not only because you’re still struggling with food coma nor because it’s sometimes a bit of a self-indulging thing. No, the problem is that as an editor, you tend to forget stuff around and sometimes even just plain give up in deciding which bands went above and beyond duty. (more…)
Greetings, people who still think Freddie Hubbard is a legend (he is). Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Yes, the second one of this week. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Billy Joel‘s fantastic music and the realisation that him and Michael Keaton look quite similar, especially in the 80s. I’m supercereal, you guys. With bananas, skimmed milk and maraschino cherries.
Greetings, readers bought all three copies of my self-help guide, Stalking Chris Martin for the Common Cow. Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Jarvis Cocker‘s beard and his recent disappearance into the great Gillette in the sky. Now, if he could only sing ‘Like a friend’ whenever I go to the shower, life would be grand. Although ‘Mile end’ would be more fitting
Greetings, readers who know how to do a stoppie in a tricycle without a “rajita de canela” appearing afterwards. Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em […]
Hey, Carbon Units… Orestes here, albums that I’m listening to, including a band that just called it quits, an IDM band, a trippy folk band and A MASSIVE LEGEND: Two Wings - Love’s Spring Oooh, this is nice. Suave, bluesy and slow grooves from Two Wings, who send psychedelic vibes from the Glaswegian city of Glasgow. Uh. ‘Eikon […]
Why the hate towards Pick of Destiny? I’ve still have to meet ONE person that actually hates it completely. Sure, I know that Kyle Gass has commented on some of the faults in the film (which I don’t mind, but I see where he’s shooting from) but the album was good and, let’s face it, ‘Beezelboss’ [...]
Hailing from the Peak District, Neon Railroad have been putting in the hours gigging constantly since the summer with amps set on “ROCK”. The title track opens the three track ep and for me is the strongest number. It’s a no frills rocker with all the hallmarks of the bands heroes’. A driving beat, guitars [...]
It’s a strange affair, the one experienced by The Wind-up Birds and the newcomer to their sound. It’s clearly a miner in a strip mining operation that hit a motherload with a mineral with the formula Ba5Gu3Dr2·V(OH) (III). Bass is heavy and well connected to all parts, the drums get their time to shine, the guitar jangles, [...]
I’m pretty sure the adjective “dreamy” is over-used by this here excuse of a reviewer. Can’t justify it nor will stop using it in the foreseeable future, especially since somehow (PR people? Destiny? Last.fm recommendations? Luck? God?) I keep gravitating towards stuff that’s atmospheric, thick in layers and full of bubbly atmos […]
Everyone an army is a band from Scarborough that was summoned to the near vicinity of Sheffield (let’s say Barnsley because they hired a shit wizard for their teleport) to bring a lot of post rock and math rock shenanigans for our unholy ears. They’ve released two EPs, one’s called EP (our review) and the other one is called A coastal Danc […]
Ah, Silversun Pickups. First time I heard you, was during a bout of insomnia. A repeat of Jools Holland in México‘s cable tv. ‘Lazy eye’, it won me over. Got Carnavas right away and loved it (‘Rusted wheel’, ‘Waste it on’ are still regularly played). A few years late, Swoon came by just when I needed it (bought in No […]
Ahoy, mateys, Orestes here with the latests EPs we’ve been checking out for ya… Hanetration – Tenth Oar EP “I’m recording silence!” “You’re recording silence?” “Now I’m recording Tony fucking Wilson!” The life of someone doing the field recording gig isn’t an easy one. You find p […]
Stalking horse. For once, the name defines the sound perfectly. Devious, not entirely showing the true colours and with an army of scapegoats ready to sacrifice in case all goes topsy turvy. Specters is all over the place that a slightly distorted and unsettling voice takes us too, like a siren luring sailors to their death [...]
