Singles Reviewed : Reverend & The Makers, Stalagmites, Fresh Snow, Macho Muchacho, Freeze the Atlantic, Doctrines, Allman Brown, Nordenfelt, MJ Hibbett
Greetings, readers who know how to do a stoppie in a tricycle without a “rajita de canela” appearing afterwards. Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. A huevo que sí.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Nelly Furtado’s left eyebrow, she was great ’til she did that album with Timbaland. Same goes for Chris Cornell. What the fuck, Timbaland? Why you taking me fave artists? Who’s next, Elton John? Bastard.
Mind you, a Timbaland produced Elton John album would be great. I’m a contradiction.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles Reviewed – Dead Sons, Ninetails, Finn Bonel, The Black Hats, In Golden Tears, Shibuya Crossings
Greetings, readers who know how to fold a burrito properly. Hook a brother up, please? Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. A huevo que sí.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Pascualo Zindugüarapos, the guy who serves pork kebabs in Broomhill. They be awesome, yo! No, wait, they don’t sell pork kebabs in England. Dammit.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles Reviewed : Maybeshewill, URSS bajo el arbol, Mooi, The Bedford Incident, The Narrows, Spring Offensive, Athena, Funeral Suits, Thelonius Rex, Partly Faithful
Greetings, readers who went to Vive Latino 2012 and fell in love at the party pit while being showered by plastic cups containing Cerveza Sol (and if it wasn’t beer, then fúchila)! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. A huevo que sí.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Macabre Johnson, the conspiracy theory nutjob that lives in Weston Park, Sheffield. He keeps telling me that we are being watched with microcameras and microphones in all our gadgets and that we all are being sheepled into believing an alien invasion that is actually holograms projected in the sky. Get Scooby Doo and the gang on the case! Strangely enough, Macabre also makes a cracking cover of Muse’s ‘Dead star’ on the nose harmonica. He even gets Matt Bellamy‘s choirboy-meets-Thom Yorke tone right!
Ah, singles, right:
Single Reviews : Sick Boy, Emily J. Grove, Louise Distras, Maps & Atlases, Films of Colour, Karhide, The Evaporators & Andrew W.K.
Greetings, readers who took the jam out of my doughnut. You’re going to hell! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of the sexy voice of K-Billy Super Sounds of the 70s. Now, put down that razor blade, let the cop walk away and boogey down to Morrison’s and buy me more doughnuts. Or else all your music will turn into 5 hours of Chris Martin yodelling.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles review : Wet Nuns, Mononoke, Toy Horses, Gunning for Tamar, Jumping Ships, Uno Moller, Cold in Berlin, The Naturals, Swaying Wires
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Greetings, readers who steal golf carts left to rust in your local parks! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of The Hillside 19 mob, comprised of ninja penguins, barbarian seals, kamikaze sea lions and a rather handsome manatee. Oh, the manatee! How it hates us! Go listen to Gallops, btw. Back? Cool, now stand upside. Wave to the crowd. Get roses, kiss the girl (or boy or significant other) and now jump through hoops to get your creme egg.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles Reviewed: Daddy Lion, Jake Morley, Decibels, Katzenjammer, Greymouth, Oceanwake, Man of the hour
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Greetings, readers who bought my copy of Building your own death ray gun from radishes and aspargus stalks (vol .1 Disintegration for the soul)! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of WorkForce, because we all mofos here are writing for gratis. Grumble, grumble. We are the 99%, as in, we like to sing “99 luftballoons, ich bin ein ausgangeeeer!” while playing hopscotch against the ghost of DeForest Kelley. He’s quite the sport.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles reviewed : What the Blood Revealed, Adi Carter, Heroes of the Mexican Independence Movement, Johan Reinhold, Floating Death Picnic, The Bedford Incident, Black Market Serotonin, Nowhere Again, Ninetails, The Hudares
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Greetings, readers bought all seven copies of my self-help guide, Getting back at the rustler that stole your red oxen (vol .2 Electric Boogaloo)! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles are double-double, so watch out for that trans fat in our delicious cuts of smoked shoegazing bacon. Mind the indie dance chicken. And for Krist Novoselic‘s sake, don’t throw your bass in the air, you might end up writing political science for the rest of your life while you wallow in self-pity on that day you said no to a high paying job packing foodstuffs in orange bags at Sainsbury’s.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles: Field Music, Alvin Purple, Master and the Mule, Cut yourself in half, Holy State, Baddies, Blacklisters
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Greetings, readers bought Orestes P. Coltrane’s guide to stalking your kindergarten teacher (vol. 1 Jello o’death!! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Mexico‘s own Safari Tacos. Great food, so-so service, great memories. Go for a Quesafari al Pastor, which basically is a big arse quesadilla with pastor meat (the non-unionised Mexican equivalent of kebab meat). It fucking rules and best of all: it has a lot of piña (that’s pineapple in Spanish).
Ah, singles, right:
Single Reviews : Two Skies, Sickboy, Greymouth, Revival Hymns, Antlered Man, Finn Bonel
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Greetings, readers bought all five copies of my self-help guide, Growing your own fairtrade kebab bonsai (vol .1 Ikkebana for the Soul)! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Top Gear‘s delicious chili con carne. Now, if I could be any of them, I would be James May. He’s the intelligent one of the bunch. Although, how intelligent can he be while still tolerating Clarkson? The mind boggles. As much as Basil Brush‘s brush. That is not a double-entendre.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles – Niña, obLONG, Captives on the Carousel, Model Village, The Wooden Birds
Greetings, readers who bought all 2 copies of my self-help guide, Surviving Christmas Break Ups with Turkey marinated in Rum! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Robert Patrick, the Terminator and Agent Doggett. His brother is in a fucking awesome band called Filter and he dropped by in a concert to shout and headbang. AWESOME.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles: Singles – Gregory and the Hawk, Wot Gorilla?, VSP, Austin TV, Castrovalva
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Greetings, people who still think Freddie Hubbard is a legend (he is). Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Yes, the second one of this week. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Billy Joel‘s fantastic music and the realisation that him and Michael Keaton look quite similar, especially in the 80s. I’m supercereal, you guys. With bananas, skimmed milk and maraschino cherries.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles: Forest Fire, Jay Leighton, Blacklisters, Tomorrow we sail
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Greetings, readers bought all three copies of my self-help guide, Stalking Chris Martin for the Common Cow. Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Jarvis Cocker‘s beard and his recent disappearance into the great Gillette in the sky. Now, if he could only sing ‘Like a friend’ whenever I go to the shower, life would be grand. Although ‘Mile end’ would be more fitting
Ah, singles, right:
Singles: Fresh Snow, Tomorrow We Sail, Ali Koehler, Cave Birds, Late Night Fiction, Rarechild, Azitiz
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Greetings, readers getting banned from a certain Sheffield dive bar after calling the owner a “bellend” (he/she deserved it, though, I REGRET NOTHING). Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human slaves review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Venom and Carnage, those two idiot symbiotes from Spiderman, and their recent foray into Benetton ads. What’s the deal with ‘em, yo?
Ah, singles, right:
Singles : The Savage Nomads, King porter stomp, Birdeatsbaby, Mazzy Star
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Greetings, readers drinking Rice Juice (fairtrade, natch!) and biting on that Slutty Rutty Butty you blagged from the Rutland Arms while the boss tries his Billy Bellend Tour 2012 t-shirt.
Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of B.S Johnson’s books and the letter Ch. Because when I was a kid, the nuns said it was a letter. So it is.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles: Dennis Hopper Choppers, Psychic Twin, Silicon Ballet, Stalagmites, Wet Nuns
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Greetings, readers drinking Abuelita chocolate (not Fairtrade) while reading Doctor Who and the Cybermen while the boss is buying a helicopter. Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy both of Adi Carter‘s mad remix skills and Rutland Arms, easily the best pub in Sheffield. Yup. Deal with it. And no, they didn’t pay us. Yet. Skint mofos…
Ah, singles, right:
Singles: Pistola Kicks, LickSpittle, The Lucid Dream, Ethan Ash, The Narrows, Stalking Horse
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Greetings, readers drinking decaffeinated fair trade perry (wah wah remix) and nibbling spoons while the boss is singing the latest Coldplay dirge. Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Problem?
This week’s singles come courtesy of Electro and his goofball villain persona. Not the gritty Electro that appeared on the Sin-Eater arc of Spidey. That depressed me when I was a kid.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles: Hiatus & Shura, Hollows, Buffalo Bones, Master and the Mule, Ellen and the Escapades, Future Shape of Sound
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Greetings, readers drinking HP Sauce (locally sourced and with adduct amines) and nicking egg noodles from Lukin’s while the boss is sniffing acetonitrile (which is better than a mojito – fact). Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human writers review ‘em. Mahalo.
“Who are these bands?” You might ask from your all-knowing chair (ergonomic-ah from ikea). Well, the names are attached. Give them a try. You might actually like them instead of buying another edition of Arcade Fire‘s The Suburbs (the Where’s Wally Edition).
This week’s singles come courtesy of Jimmy Saville and his gold chains. Man can do no wrong in my book. At least he ain’t Roman “Detritus” Polanski. Fuck that asshole.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles: Miniature Dinosaur, Deerhoof (w/Jeff Tweedy), Twilight Sad, The Miserable Rich, Esben & the Witch
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Greetings, readers drinking styling moose earwax (decaffeinated, natch!) and nicking ginger cookies biscuits from the recently divorced red-haired bird at the office (buy her a pint) while the boss is buying the 600 quid remaster of Achtung Baby (aka the second best U2 album, after Zooropa. Deal with it). Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Mahalo.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Galactus and his recent addiction to vanilla Twinkies. Now, if he could only drop the planet kebab, we would all be happier and safer (but not fitter).
Ah, singles, right:
Sad notes from middle America
The Payroll Union – Your Obedient Servant
Stream – ‘General James Wolfe’
Singles: Gaoler’s Daughter, Afghan Raiders, Pisco Sour Hour, Matt Kim Andrew WK Soulja Boy, The Payroll Union
Greetings, readers drinking discount Kombucha mushroom tea (SUGAR!) and sneaking a looksie at Nardwuar (he rules) while the boss is listening to Adele (aka the music equivalent of Bridget Jones). Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column.
This week’s singles come courtesy of KISS getting snubbed from the final line-up for the Michael Jackson tribute. Now, that’s weird. It’s already a cash grab, why snub the masters of the sell-out?
Ah, singles, right:
