Singles Reviewed : Screaming Maldini, Yokozuna, Pinback, Silver Arm, Picardy III, Taffy
Greetings, readers! Sorry if the intro is curt, but we are in an emotional groove and we can’t get out. Singles (or stuff we decided it was singles):
Singles Review : Dead Sons, Hey Sholay, Fashoda Crisis, Ohnomoon, I am Kloot, Letting up despite great faults, Wild Swim, Crowns, Deaf Club
Greetings, readers! I was kicked out of an artsy fartsy gig the other day. Why? I dunno, but one day I’ll reveal the truth and it will be as massive as Wikileaks, but with more kebabs and less sexual harassing (alleged or not). Why am I not allowed to walk into a venue wearing noodles? I want to wear noodles, you obey, ok? You are insulting my pastafarian beliefs if you chuck me out of your lil’ venue, you bald-headed gorilla!
Phew, sorry, for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself. This week’s singles come courtesy of Red House Painters, because they were awesome, yo!
Ah, singles, right:
Singles Review : Firesuite, Cats:For:Peru, Niña, Ellen and the Escapades, Death Rays of Ardilla, City Reign, Guards
Greetings, readers! You still there? I’m watching a documentary on Metal and when they got to the interview with Ronnie James Dio, I lost it. Fuck, he was a legend. From the moment he saved Black Sabbath from the Ozzy-shaped hole to his cameo in The Pick of Destiny, he was always rad!
This week’s singles are presented by the armed kookaburras that Cognitive Dissonance Records sent our way. WE SURRENDER.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles reviewed: Soundgarden, Mega Aquarians, Mark Eitzel, Chris Helme, Watchers, Silver, Autumn Owls
Greetings, readers! I’ve got reflux. It isn’t fun. It’s like using hydrochloric acid for mouthwash. Do you know how painful that is? It’s like that time I was in Tijuana with my Uncle Joe and we met a couple of delincuentes malandros who sold us this high quality mezcal (it had three worms instead of one). Turns out it was quadruple distilled Bacardi. That shit is rank.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Basil Brush, so boom boom!
Ah, singles, right:
Singles Reviewed: Tall Ships, Funeral Suits, The Fervor, Silver Arm, Lavender Diamond, Fantasy Rainbow, Marcus Foster
Greetings, readers! You still there? This is the second singles column we do this week. Why? Because we are 3 years old this week (officially!). So from all the fictional characters in this shithole of a website, I thank y’all.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Pearl Jam, because they wuuuz awesome, yo!
Ah, singles, right:
Singles Reviewed: August Actually, Burly Nagasaki, Firesuite, Wet Nuns, P.O.S., Minus The Bear
Greetings, readers! You still there? This is the first singles column we do in aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaageeeeees. Fuck this “jokey” intros, you never liked them anyway. Just like you don’t like to find a gold nugget in your strawberry Fruitella or when you find out your burrito was having an affair with a chip butty. The vinegar-ey slag! That cheap, no brand malt vinegar is the worst offence a loopy brothel inmate like me could receive.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Thrice, because they were awesome, yo!
Ah, singles, right:
Review: Patti Smith @ Manchester
I’m going to start this post with a story.
In the early nineteenth century there was a young woman who worked as a laundress, travelling from remote farmsteads to small hamlets, helping the housewives with their monthly wash. Her long fingered hands were raw from lye. Her arms were mottled and powerful from the scrubbing in cold water and the wringing of sheets. At one of these farms she met a young shepherd. “That’s the man I’m going to marry” she said to herself, and four years later she did. They ran on their own flock of hardy sheep on the mountain, and took on a smallholding. They had two children, a boy and a girl. (more…)
Singles Reviewed – Firesuite, Steel Trees, Gunning for Tamar, Dan Pearson, Conveyor, Gaolers Daughter
Greetings, readers who know how to hide the bodies of deceased hummingbirds. Hey, man, I just wanted to see what happens when they drink Irn Bru. Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. A huevo que sí.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Jonathan Demme, the guy who directed films and now spends his time hunting killer wallabies in the Australian Outback.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles Reviewed – Everyone an army, Silent Front, A Clean Kitchen is a Happy Kitchen, Collider, The Lucid Dream, Torches
Greetings, readers who know that I am the eye in the sky, looking at you, I can read your mind. I am the maker of rules, ok? Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. A huevo que sí.
This week’s singles come courtesy of the sausage sarnies from John’s Van. They be awesome, yo! I also like the one from Urban Deli, the one that looks like an electrical resistance coil (but doesn’t taste like that). Man, I need sausages. And sponsors. Can’t keep bigging up people for free!
Ah, singles, right:
Singles Reviewed : Hey Sholay, Screaming Maldini, Rumour Cubes, Simian Ghost, Dinosaurs are shit dragons, Black Gold of the Sun
Greetings, readers who know the historical inaccuracies in Oliver Stone’s JFK. He didn’t took crazy pills, he overdoses on them. I preferred him when he was writing mental things like Scarface or Any Given Sunday, though…
This week’s singles come courtesy of Tacos Los Latosos, the best tacos in ALL of Mexico City. You know it, I know it, God knows it. And you wouldn’t go against God, would ya? Unless you don’t believe in Her (yes, God is a female), in that case, then those tacos aren’t the best. Shit.
Ah, singles, right:
Singles Review : Wooderson, Collider, Obe, Drenge, The Hot Soles, Psychic Twin, Odisseo
Greetings, readers who know how to eat a Taco al pastor correctly. The best ones are at Los Latosos! Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. Así son mis días.
This week’s singles come courtesy of the traffic jams in México. Man, it’s hoooooot in here!
Ah, singles, right:
Singles Reviewed : Reverend & The Makers, Stalagmites, Fresh Snow, Macho Muchacho, Freeze the Atlantic, Doctrines, Allman Brown, Nordenfelt, MJ Hibbett
Greetings, readers who know how to do a stoppie in a tricycle without a “rajita de canela” appearing afterwards. Welcome to another edition of our “off again, off again, hey it’s on again!” single reviews column. Granted, some of them aren’t singles, but I liked them and made my stupid human collaborators review ‘em. A huevo que sí.
This week’s singles come courtesy of Nelly Furtado’s left eyebrow, she was great ’til she did that album with Timbaland. Same goes for Chris Cornell. What the fuck, Timbaland? Why you taking me fave artists? Who’s next, Elton John? Bastard.
Mind you, a Timbaland produced Elton John album would be great. I’m a contradiction.
Ah, singles, right:
Tenacious D – Rize of the Fenix
Why the hate towards Pick of Destiny? I’ve still have to meet ONE person that actually hates it completely. Sure, I know that Kyle Gass has commented on some of the faults in the film (which I don’t mind, but I see where he’s shooting from) but the album was good and, let’s face it, ‘Beezelboss’ is fucking awesome (truly the best song in the world).
No, really, why did the film tanked? Every single person I’ve shown the film, they enjoy it, even if they hate the genre (including our very own webcomic illustrator, who is now a fan of the band).
6 years and now we have the return of Tenacious D. After the very funny pre-emptive strike that was the short video for ‘To be the best‘, we now have Rize of the Fenix, a very funny album that also manages to rock out quite well. I don’t know if the adjective “mature” applies here, though, but several critics keep bandying it around this release.
I’d go for cohesive and with great flow. The songs are satisfyingly rocking, with that witty (and puerile) humour that the band so well crafts. ‘Rize of the Fenix’ is a self-assessment of the past 6 years for the band, the turmoil and their Meat Loaf-style comeback. Jokes about tattoos are always good too and the bombastic nature of the track makes it an awesome choice for an opener (and easily a gem).
Again, the humour of the band is present, fully engaged on puerile mode (‘Low hangin’ fruit’ sounds like the love life many of us have) and even the shenanigans of the industry (‘Roadie’ is both awesome and true). “Epic” is another adjective to use in the songs, as there is a penchant for embracing how rock can be extremely operatic and bombastic, like in the melodramatic ‘Señorita’, the sci fi trip ‘Deth Starr’ which is as amazing as Firefly (I said it – also, it sounds like Stone Temple Pilots’ ‘And so I know’) and the showstopper called ‘The ballad of Hollywood Jack and The Rage Kage’, which again chronicles the turmoil in Tenacious D.
For the ones who enjoy their skits (a big part of the soul of Tenacious D), there’s longer sequences here. ‘Classical teacher’ is pretty funny, playing out how the band could kick Arcade Fire‘s asses (fact!), ‘Flutes & Trombones’ is what happens when both JB and KG want to add some extra instrumentation to a track and ‘They fucked our asses’ is that sour lamentation (with the inevitable call to arms ‘To be the best’).
An uncle in Tampico always remarked that he thought rock was ridiculous not because of the sounds, but because of the posturing and excesses that later become tropes and running jokes in parodies. When a band manages to take those tired stereotypes and play with them while still making some really enjoyable rocking tunes (and funny videos), the gain is evident. Thanks, Tenacious D, may you keep rocking that devil horn and its hazy smoke.
Oh, and David Grohl drums here. That is awesome.
Words: Sam J. “I’ve got a pick of destiny replica in my wallet” Valdes Lopez
