It’s 9 AM on a sunny October morning and the golden hues passing through the white drapes on her window are her wake up call. Hey, you can’t snooze your way out of this type of highfalutin’ alarm, right?
She had fruit for breakfast. The pile of letters at the other side of the table was precariously accommodated, forming a strange structure. Part pyramid, part leaning tower of Pisa. All letters of no consequence on her life. Not right now. Nothing printed could have the emotional weight of what was crossing her mind right now. Something written by a hateful pen.
“Idyllic” they said. “Married bliss” they lied. “The culmination of a lifetime relationship”. What a sham. The kettle was whistling loudly, sinfully. The Tres Pinos guitar resting by the sofa. Time for some musical therapy.
She then came out through the noisy door and sat on that rusty swing chair by the porch, strumming the guitar slowly. Two notes, dissonant, reminding her of the long gone times and the endless practise sessions. A rabbit came out of its hutch, wiggled its nose and did a lil’ morning lap. She smiled faintly, still sloppily striking the guitar out of time. What’s the name of that song? And why can’t she stop playing it? Was it distorted or calm? The tune kept flying through her head and the stark reminders of the broken promises were now laying on the overgrown grass in the yard. One of his shoes was the leathery toilet of the rabbit.
Hmm…Maybe it was a heavily distorted, fuzzy song!
She reached into the pouch of her hooded sweatshirt. The paper had several creases, from the many times it had been crumpled. It only read “there’s so many ways to say ‘I hate you…’ and for a moment, just for a quick moment, she wished there was an “undo” button to life. The many mistakes we commit, we never truly understand the consequences they will bring, raining down furiously, washing us away.
So she put the letter back in the pouch and kept playing. Will playing those lost notes work? Or will the notes just dissipate into the air, becoming nothing? “Nothing”. The horrible word they both uttered. “Nothing at all”. What seemed to be a relationship blessed by Venus was in reality a long gestating battle that would’ve made Mars proud. That quarrelsome desolate rock, with its two meaningless rocks gyrating around, sometimes ululating a melody that buzzes like a guitar string trembling below a mighty ebow. Nothing, the spoils of a bitter war.
Maybe idolising someone is a terrible idea. Maybe ignoring the god in the significant other is the best course of action? Everyone makes mistakes, oh, so many mistakes…
The A string snaps and she haphazardly manages to re-use it. It’s the 3rd time that strings snaps and luckily enough, she always recovers enough to re-string. Lucky. Maybe life isn’t that bad. Perception. Some people use a convex lens, others use a concave one, but no one wants to use the straight lens. That’s because of two reasons: we never want to see reality as it is and, well, it would make everything objective instead of subjective and that would take the colour out of our lives…
She didn’t notice when she was started pulling out a rocking solo, but it sounded good, oh so very good. The greying hairs in her red auburn mane mattered not, she was 20 again, rocking out in a damp room she would never see again.
A car passed stopped. In the rear bumper, a Grateful Dead sticker was prominently displayed. A man descended the car and walked towards her. He looked coy, half waiting for the earth to swallow him whole. But no, he kept walking. He handed her a paper and she signed it, without stopping her everlasting glare towards him. It was clear: they both had enough of each other. The chilling wind could not cool down their fiery tempers and without a word, they said nodded goodbye, their faces saying “sorry and goodbye” at the same time. He drove away slowly, never looking back once.
She strummed the guitar again. The ill wind blew away the dead brown leaves on the ground and she stopped thinking about the long gone days. He sure was from Mars…
Words: Sam J. Valdés López
Suggested tracks : ‘Red World’, ‘Rabbit’, ‘Had Enough’.